When He won't grant what I think is good, I become vulnerable to take that which is not.
I still look at my dad's condition (unable to communicate through speech) and think, "54 years devoting your life and voice to exalt this extravagant One who gives life abundantly and this is how it goes down at the end? Or how about spending your life giving more than you've received to act as a conduit of heaven releasing provision to others? Now himself left with very little? The retirement plan for this job needs a tweaking." But then I realize that it's never been a job to him, nor does he seem to wrestle with one day of regret for the beauty that the relationship has brought to His eternity. The blessings through his eyes are more prevalent than the curses through mine. He won't embrace any curse as a gift, neither will he allow it to taint the gift itself, which has always been Him. Just Him.
And right now, that's all I'm trying to want.
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