Moments That Matter

I know it probably seems like I'm on a social networking binge but that's about all there is to do here. We have spent a few days now sitting in the silence and solitude of the Midwestern winter and, yes, I am sure that I'm not quite ready to become a monk just yet. Dad's passing itself was glorious in every sense of the word. The eerie stillness that follows is what's difficult. I went out to the trailer to gather some things for Mom and saw dad's chair with his bible and reading glasses sitting by it. I'm not sure how long I stood there just watching the chair through the steam of my breath but eventually reality snapped into place and I realized I couldn't feel my toes. Things like that have happened a few times. Where the spine of a book, the sound of a train, creak of a step, the smell of a suit will just arrest my attention in a most uncomfortable way. Memories are ghosts of the moments that mattered. And right now they're all awake and wanting attention. So there's that.