I was searching through some old journals yesterday and came across this "prayer" from January of 2001. I'm going to publish it here as it was written and then make one brief comment at the end.

"My God. If You're desire is to commune with me, what's stopping You? Certainly I don't have the power to hold you back, do I? And if I do, would You kindly (or unkindly) overpower me? I forever seek a deeper walk with You and always desire Your Presence. The waiting for You to speak, the wondering how I can attain to the Enoch walk, the Elijah mantle, the Samuel midnight visit, the Isaiah vision, or the Moses glow is enough to drive a mortal mad. I can sit for what seems like forever praying until I have nothing left to say but Your Name. Drag me to where You want me. Scream in my ear and should I be left deaf from the experience, my soul would be forever sustained knowing that You have allowed me to hear Your voice. If in Your touch, you strike me, whatever mark is left will tell my heart that You took a moment to touch me. I must know You more!"

In contrasting the cry of the past and the reality of the present, I'm sobered by this fact. The relationship with God you enjoy today is the one you were desperate for yesterday.