I've got a question for you. It's not a question I want to ask you, but instead a question that I want you to ask someone this week. The question is powerful, dangerous, revealing, and honest. It's weight is as brutal to the hearer as the answer is likely to be to the one who dares to ask. The question is this.

"Do I love you?"

I think we throw around 'I love you' way to flippantly as if it were a way to do a quick patch job on the leaky relationships we all struggle to keep afloat. We know it's barely going to last as long as the person's memory but at least it's good for about 10 minutes. A lot of southern folk don't go get the mail without saying, 'love you' which was weird to me 15 years ago and still is. I think it's a less painful substitute for good bye or perhaps it just makes for better final words than, "Tell Herb to warm the Preparation H in the microwave before he applies it next time." But because it gets so much use it's like a bald set of tires or a politician's promise. It will hold up as long as the road is smooth but hit a pothole or wet spot and you're swapping it out for the spare in the rain on I35. After a few thousand of those, who cares if you say, "I love you." Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Maybe they believe you. Maybe they don't. So what? Instead of bringing you closer, it typically brings communication to a close with an awkward reply (or silence on a bad night). Next time you get a chance to talk to someone you love, ask them, "Do I love you?" I know I'm writing in a humorous style here but allow me to shift gears for a minute.

When Jesus asked Peter multiple times, "Do you love me?" Peter replied, "You know I do." Since Jesus knew all things Peter figured Jesus must have known his heart. So then why was Jesus pressing the issue? Perhaps Peter didn't love like he thought he did. Peter would have done well to ask Jesus, "Do I love you?" It would have been a revealing answer to be sure. So why didn't he? Probably because he knew what the answer would be. Why don't we ask those close to us, "Do I love you?" Maybe because we know what the answer will be. Maybe you love your spouse internally but have done so little on the outside to express it that you're afraid of what their answer would be. They may say, "I don't think so." Let's take it a step further. Since all good Christians know that you're supposed to love both enemies and spouses (sometimes the same people) it's not Christ like to say, "I don't love you." So we say it because we're supposed to right? We don’t mean it but if we say it enough we might mean it one day. Or maybe we loved them once upon a time but now that emotional response is just a memory faded with time. For the sake of the children we say we love them 'deep down inside' which is just to say that you can't remember what it's like to love but you know you did once.

Whatever your state, whatever your emotional response to the presence of those closest to you, there is a tie to the soul found in relationship. This question is the drill that will see how deep that tie goes. It's not for the faint of heart. I don't guarantee the results will make you feel fuzzy. I do believe that the results will be as I said at first. Powerful, dangerous, revealing, and honest. Yet when it comes to love, isn't that what we all want?