I've got a question for you. It's not a question I want to ask you, but instead a question that I want you to ask someone this week. The question is powerful, dangerous, revealing, and honest. It's weight is as brutal to the hearer as the answer is likely to be to the one who dares to ask. The question is this.

"Do I love you?"

I think we throw around 'I love you' way to flippantly as if it were a way to do a quick patch job on the leaky relationships we all struggle to keep afloat. We know it's barely going to last as long as the person's memory but at least it's good for about 10 minutes. A lot of southern folk don't go get the mail without saying, 'love you' which was weird to me 15 years ago and still is. I think it's a less painful substitute for good bye or perhaps it just makes for better final words than, "Tell Herb to warm the Preparation H in the microwave before he applies it next time." But because it gets so much use it's like a bald set of tires or a politician's promise. It will hold up as long as the road is smooth but hit a pothole or wet spot and you're swapping it out for the spare in the rain on I35. After a few thousand of those, who cares if you say, "I love you." Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Maybe they believe you. Maybe they don't. So what? Instead of bringing you closer, it typically brings communication to a close with an awkward reply (or silence on a bad night). Next time you get a chance to talk to someone you love, ask them, "Do I love you?" I know I'm writing in a humorous style here but allow me to shift gears for a minute.

When Jesus asked Peter multiple times, "Do you love me?" Peter replied, "You know I do." Since Jesus knew all things Peter figured Jesus must have known his heart. So then why was Jesus pressing the issue? Perhaps Peter didn't love like he thought he did. Peter would have done well to ask Jesus, "Do I love you?" It would have been a revealing answer to be sure. So why didn't he? Probably because he knew what the answer would be. Why don't we ask those close to us, "Do I love you?" Maybe because we know what the answer will be. Maybe you love your spouse internally but have done so little on the outside to express it that you're afraid of what their answer would be. They may say, "I don't think so." Let's take it a step further. Since all good Christians know that you're supposed to love both enemies and spouses (sometimes the same people) it's not Christ like to say, "I don't love you." So we say it because we're supposed to right? We don’t mean it but if we say it enough we might mean it one day. Or maybe we loved them once upon a time but now that emotional response is just a memory faded with time. For the sake of the children we say we love them 'deep down inside' which is just to say that you can't remember what it's like to love but you know you did once.

Whatever your state, whatever your emotional response to the presence of those closest to you, there is a tie to the soul found in relationship. This question is the drill that will see how deep that tie goes. It's not for the faint of heart. I don't guarantee the results will make you feel fuzzy. I do believe that the results will be as I said at first. Powerful, dangerous, revealing, and honest. Yet when it comes to love, isn't that what we all want?

There is a priority in the dynamic of ministry to God and service to His people. I always felt as though service to His people was the best way to draw close to God, since we are encouraged to minister to the least of these and, in doing so, minister to Christ. Further study has prompted me to expand the idea that there may be, in fact, a separation between the ministry to man and ministry to God.

In Ezekiel 44 we're told that there are a good number of Levitical priests who have ticked God off. They defiled the sanctuary or to quote, "And ye have not kept the charge of mine holy things: but ye have set keepers of my charge in my sanctuary for yourselves." So they did this that and the other and it made God angry. He begins to set out some punitive measures and in verse 11 he seems to relent somewhat and tells them that they can still be priests and minister to the people. Seems odd, since we place such a high priority on doing just that. When people fall or fail or, as in this case, desecrate the sanctuary, the first thing to go is their ministry for certainly God wouldn't want a habitual heathen to fill the ranks of those in authority in the church. Yet here is God Himself telling these detestable fellows that they get to keep their job. Here, I believe, is how many in ministry can live lives that fill the nostrils of God with the stench of rotten works and how foolish darkened hearts can still retain some semblance of anointing.

If they don't lose their anointing to minister to God's people, where then is the punishment? Verse 13 tells it plainly. "...they shall not come near unto me, to do the office of a priest unto me, nor to come near to any of my holy things, in the most holy [place]: but they shall bear their shame, and their abominations which they have committed."
Now look at that. There is obviously a difference in the anointing to minister to man and the ability to draw close to God. We erroneously believe that one can't exist without the other but I believe Scripture is plain in saying that God can use anyone to touch the life of another and even fulfill the anointed calling of a priest (or pastor). Yet the price to pay for squandering that anointing is that they are hindered from ministering to God or even drawing close to Him.

Look at the next verse. "But I will make them keepers of the charge of the house, for all the service thereof, and for all that shall be done therein." Now try this on for size. You can sit under anointed preaching and teaching delivered by a minister whose words and insight touch you deeply but whose life has been lived at a distance from the heart of the Father. Pastors, there's a difference between your anointing to minister to your people and your anointing to draw into a deeper walk with God. In this day I fear that many have placed more emphasis on their status in the eyes of their congregation while neglecting their own walk.

In the next verses God says to the sons of Zadok, "They shall enter into my sanctuary, and they shall come near to my table, to minister unto me, and they shall keep my charge." He then proceeds to give them some interesting uniform requirements. That they don't wear anything that causes sweat and that whatever they wear that they change it before they go out to mingle with the people so that, "they shall not sanctify the people with their garments." Old Testament only? Not so, for pre crucifixion there was a woman who was healed by touching the garment of Jesus and post crucifixion there were those who were healed by touching clothes that were handled by Paul (Acts 19:11-12). Keep in mind that it's not the cloth that does the healing but an apparent combined effort of the faith of the wearer and the faith of the one in need. Moving on...

Other things required of the sons of Zadok were some basic grooming, to stay off the wine in the sanctuary, to skip marrying widows unless she had been a widow of another priest, to teach the people about what's holy and what's not, to do some judging, to keep the Sabbath (all of them), and to avoid handling the dead (unless it's an immediate family member). Ok you could read this on your own. Why point it out? There are so many points that could be made here. I want to stick with one. How are you in your proximity to the presence of God? Under grace, we all have the ability to minister to God as well as to His people. Yet under grace we have taken it so lightly, and it's not a small thing. Some people avoid praise and worship because it 'doesn't minister to them'. I would contend that this is a selfish and arrogant stance. Praise and worship is for God. The preaching of the Word is for you. Both together are how we grow. Now if you worship on your own before you come together to hear the Word, fine, but you're missing out on the assembled collective worship of God together. Let's say you've got a bunch of friends and it's your birthday. You could get a visit from each one in turn but how much more effective is the group of friends who get together to throw you a surprise party? What if you weren't on the planning committee? You still go because it's not about you. It's about them. Don't avoid worship just because you weren't on the planning committee. It's not about you anyway. Come together and worship God because He's worthy of it. Why is He worthy? Is your heart still beating? Then He's really worthy.

My word for the day is 'Pilgrimage'. Websters dic defines the word as [A long journey or search, especially one of exalted purpose or moral significance.] Have you ever been on a pilgrimage? Have you ever felt as though you were on a journey and moving each day according to the direction of another or being guided by a hand you can't see? I was watching the Amazing Race this week and noticed how intensely these people moved from instruction to instruction and where that movement took them. From old to young, those who are set on pilgrimage are blessed with energy and strength to the point that it's exciting to watch. How much more exciting the journey that is directed by God? I believe that from birth to death, God has set us on a journey. We're all on a pilgrimage and when a man's heart realizes that, we move from strength to strength. God help the man who believes he has arrived and settles in the valley rather than passing through it. If you're in a valley today, keep moving, for it's not the journey that takes away your strength. It's in the journey that you'll find strength.

(Psalms 84:4-7 NKJV) Blessed are those who dwell in Your house; They will still be praising You. Selah {5} Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, Whose heart is set on pilgrimage. {6} As they pass through the Valley of Baca, They make it a spring; The rain also covers it with pools. {7} They go from strength to strength; Each one appears before God in Zion.

Psa 119: 54 Thy statutes have been my songs in the house of my pilgrimage.
Psa 119:55 I have remembered Thy name, O LORD, in the night, and have kept Thy law.
Psa 119:56 This I had, because I kept Thy precepts.
Psa 119:57 [Thou art] my portion, O LORD: I have said that I would keep Thy words.
Psa 119:58 I entreated Thy favor with [my] whole heart: be merciful unto me according to Thy Word.
Psa 119:59 I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto Thy testimonies.
Psa 119:60 I made haste, and delayed not to keep Thy commandments.
Psa 119:61 The bands of the wicked have robbed me: [but] I have not forgotten Thy law.
Psa 119:62 At midnight I will rise to give thanks unto Thee because of Thy righteous judgments.

The Parable of the Cook

Let's pretend that you're a cook who feeds the same people every week. You
go to the store, pay for the ingredients, work hard cooking the meal, open
the doors, and the usual patrons wander in. Many of them are actually out of shape,
lazy as a dog, and picky as a two year old. Some things are too
hot, some are too cold. Some simply go through the line and take what they
want. Others complain about everything that's on the menu that they don't
like. "Why do they even have squash? I hate squash." Or, "How come they
don't have sweet potatoes? Every other decent restaurant in town has sweet
potatoes." Sometimes they'll say, "We have the best fried chicken in town.
It's better than every other diner out there."

You begin to notice that most of the patrons aren't really that hungry. They just come to
inspect the food. They load up anyway, though most of the food on the
plates will go unconsumed. When they go through the line there is a
donation box at the end to offset the cost of the food and perhaps to tip
the cook. Most pay. Some even leave a tip, smile, and say thank you. It's
this appreciation that will often make the difference between whether or not
the cook keeps cooking for some days it can get discouraging to be a cook.

On a rare occasion, the usual customers will see a hungry person in the
marketplace and tell him where he can go to get a good meal and become
healthy again. Most of the time the hungry go unnoticed because they're
everywhere, and so are the diners. When a starving person wanders in,
everyone gets excited. They share their meal and even save the newcomer a
place at the table. It's a happy time when you get to see someone enjoy a
hot meal for the first time.

It happens one day that the critique of the food turns to criticism of the
cook. What once was delicious is now boring. Eventually the criticism of
the cook digs into criticism of his motives and character. "Why does he
really cook?" some say. There are some who start talking about the donation
box. "If he really cares about us, he'll do it without needing to put that
offensive donation box at the end of the line." They begin to sit at
various tables and tell people that we don't need to give the cook any money
for the food. They say, "Don't tell the cook that he's doing a good job
because then he won't try harder and will never become a better cook. By
not encouraging him we're actually helping him." They use every angle
possible to convince people that the cook is greedy and only cares about the
money in the donation box. "He's just a hireling" they say. "He needs to
be taught a lesson in how to cook for the sake of cooking alone. That's
true culinary perfection."

The cook begins to go broke. He needs to pay the bills and so he gets
another job, and another job, and another job, and eventually, he doesn't
have energy to cook anymore. He still does, but he's just not as excited
about it as he used to be. In weeks to come people gather, go through the
line, load up, and when they get to the end of the line, they not only don't
tip anymore, they don't even pay for the food. That would be fine with the
cook because sometimes they're not able to and that's ok. The cook is just
glad they're there, that they're eating something, and
that they're sharing with others.

The problem is that they don't even say thank you anymore. They just load
up and walk away. They still criticize what they don't like and compare the
food to the other diners. They never take the time to tell the cook that
the food is good, decent, hot, or fresh. After some months pass, the cook
begins to wonder if these people aren't trying to tell him something.
The fact that they come and load up and most of it goes
uneaten begins to make him think, "Perhaps they need, not just a new dish,
but a new cook." Secretly a few individual patrons encourage the cook and
bless his family but it seems as thought they have to hide their efforts from
the rest of the patrons. The cook gets it. He realizes that there is a
attitude that has taken over the restaurant that will never allow the
patrons to express appreciation as a collective group. These patrons wish
to take over the cooking for themselves. He announces that he's hanging up
his apron, but fear not, the diner will still stay open under new
management. Some patrons organize a dinner and invite him and his family to attend a meal in his honor.
He attends. One last time, everybody loads up, walks away,
eats, and goes home. And that's it. The cook says, "I'm done with the restaurant business. I'm better off doing something else."
So he goes away, cooks for his family and a few genuinely hungry people he comes across,
works in peace, and lives happily every after.

The end.
--------------------------------------------

Epilogue

In the months following his departure, the former cook questions his calling to actually be a cook. Some say that everyone is a cook. Is there really a 'calling' to cook? As he wrestles with the question, he finds new strength in a deeper friendship with the Farmer from whom all the ingredients flowed. Turns out He's quite the merciful fellow. The Farmer assures the cook that he'll be fine and that He will take care of him as well as the patrons in the diner, and He does.
The diner goes through many cooks. Each one taking a turn at preparing the meal. One week it's
Chinese, the next week it's Mexican. There's some meat and potatoes on
occasion, and even some thick pasta dishes while others make up hot fudge
sundaes. The patrons seem to like the variety. What happens next? To be continued...

There are writers who think for you, and writers who provoke you to think. I pray that in this post, I may be the latter. What doesn't God know? Is there anything that is beyond His understanding? Is there any detail upon which mankind may illuminate Him? Can we possibly say anything that would clear up some confusion He might have? I say this to draw you to ponder. Have you ever noticed how many questions God asks in the Scriptures? Now there's some who may say that all that is simply rhetorical communication. That God asks questions to get us to think about the answer and experience the joy of discovery, after all, that's what a good teacher does. I believe, in some cases, that's true. Like the list of questions to Job to which Job replies, "I place my hand on my mouth." That was God asking a man, "Do you know who you're messing with?" After all, when it comes to size, proportion, and relative greatness, we're pretty stupid.

But God does ask some genuine questions engaging mankind in a conversation in which information is exchanged in a give and take manner. After all that's the essence of relationship, and isn't relationship what God desires? Nobody is drawn, for long, to someone who knows everything. Matter of fact, we hate a know it all, for their knowledge exposes our ignorance and makes the whole idea of relationship with such a person as interesting as curling up with an encyclopedia Britannica. See questions seem to draw us into relationship because they humbly expose a person's intellectual limitation. The question boosts your ego for it's another person challenging you to expand their mental boundaries to include more information than they previously had been able to contain. So do we have the chance to expand God's mind? Or are his questions meant to expand ours?

Here's some examples in which God question sounds less rhetorical and seems to sincerely beg an answer. Take one of the first questions in the Bible. He asks Adam, "Where are you?" Why? A little later on in Gen. 3 He asks, "Who told you that you were naked?" Why? Move on a ways and He asks, "Have you eaten of the tree I told you not to eat from?" Again, why? There's one more question in this conversation that is the most disturbing of all? "What is this you have done?" I think, rather than offer more thoughts, this is setup enough. Meditate on this today and if you would like to share some insights, I would appreciate the interaction. While we're at it, consider Jesus' question to Peter. "Do you love me?" Whenever I encounter a question asked by the Divine in the Scriptures, it's a source of some discomfort, for somewhere in the depth of my soul, I can feel it directed at me. Look for some other questions, and place yourself in the position of the person to whom the question is directed. How would you answer?

It's a warm evening here in Texas. A stark contrast from a few nights ago when we lit up the fireplace, turned the lights off and sat in the living room listening to the musical comfort of crackling wood. I love nights like that. The yellow glow dances off the limestone making the tall living room walls look like the tapestry lined chambers in a castle. The deep amber reflection in the wood floor and ceiling adds to the warmth and each time the fire cracks, the sparks wind through the air curving upward into the air like gnats on fire. I cross my feet and sink deeper into the old leather chair letting my eyes close and capturing the peace of the moment. I watch the shadows of my children silhouetted near the hearth as they catch the light of the fire in their eyes. Traci's curled up on the couch nearby. I would go over there to get close to her except she's not alone. She's running her fingers through Sasha's thick brown coat as our German Shepherd lays beside her. TV is off. The sound of choice is silence. If I were to try to think of a single thing that I could ask God for to add to this moment, I could not. From Hollywood Blvd, to West Palm Beach, to the old world charm of Williamsburg, to Soggy soothing Seattle, to the upcountry of Maui, to the Jazz of Philly, to the dry chill of Flagstaff, to Pier 29 in San Francisco, to the Rockies of Salt Lake City, to Michigan Ave in Chicago, to the Lincoln Memorial at night, and back to Austin. The past year has been an amazing traveler's adventure. Yet, when it's all said and done, I would trade all of those moments for one of these. My family and our home and a cool night when all is well.