(A rare moment here. I actually allow another page out of one of my personal journals to leak into cyberspace. Read at your own risk)
For the first time in a great while, I'm bored with life. I've turned 30 and I've become boring. I'm boring myself, for cryin out loud. My quick wit has grown dull and my scathing humor has eroded into chronic irritability. I have no earthly idea why. I still soak in the Scriptures and, by God's Holy Spirit, profound truth occasionally raises it's fearsome head. This is a condition that I have to deal with. I'm not so interested how I went wrong as much as how to get right. Perhaps therin lies the problem. Unless I take a couple of mental steps backwards I may blaze a trail to a greater darkness. When you come to a cliff, only the hopeless or stupid step forward. Optimistic progression steps back to get a clear perspective from a safe vantage point - with the understanding that while the goal still lies ahead there is a way to attain it without plunging to your death. In addition if one dismisses the risk and therefore forfeits the goal, then another death of sorts has occured. This death is far less forgiving because it's a death you have to live. No wonder zombies are so angry. Like other believers I press toward the goal of 'Christlikeness'. People's response to Jesus was to cheer him on one day and kill him the next. Is that what I really want? I want to serve and for that service I would prefer their positive response over the negative. I guess I have to resolve that in fickle people just like me, one is married to the other. So I've come to the cliff. I think I will choose to..."