Hard Lessons

Hard lessons from 26 years of marriage that I want my kids to know. (1 minute 26 seconds of read time) 

You're going to do some things well, and you're going to do some things badly. When you do well and get praised, give it to God. Don't let accolades make you complacent. Success is a combination of dreaming and work. One without the other will not serve you well. 

When you hurt someone, own it and make it right. It's God that defines your eternity, and only He knows how forgiven you are. But it is your relationships with people that define the experience you have in this life. 

You won't gravitate to those who love you the most, but to those who accept you the most. When you allow those who accept you to rise above those who truly love you, somebody is going to get hurt. It will only be the grace of the people you hurt and the people who love you that keeps your life from being defined by your lowest moments. People who love you will protect you if you hurt them. People who merely accept you will destroy you if you hurt them. 

Surround yourself with people you can be completely transparent and vulnerable with. Choose those people wisely when you don't need them, because you're rarely thinking wisely when you do need them. But don't limit your council to your friends. Get a professional counselor in your life who has dismissed themselves from ever being a friend. That person may the most honest person you ever talk to. 

Rejection can be a brutal teacher. When people don't want to stand close to you, it's usually because you stepped in something. Selfishness is when you step in something on purpose and blame others for not accepting it. Selfishness is a rocket ride to a lonely life because when you step in something people don't want you walking into their house. 

Live a life filled with abundant experiences that you wouldn't mind telling your grandkids about. Judgement and grace are inevitable, but you only get to keep what you give away. Finally, everything, every moment, every breath, every heartbeat, will hinge on this question from Jesus Christ, "Who do you say that I am?" There is nothing more important than your answer to that question.