"If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maranatha." Two strange words appear in the KJV version of 1 Corinthians 16:22. Maranatha and Anathema. (Stick with this. It's a fruitful study.) First, Maranatha means 'come Lord' or 'the Lord has come' and was a common greeting among early believers as a constant reminder of the fact the Jesus came in the flesh and He's coming again. We may do well to greet each other in similar fashion in these last days. The other word, anathema, means 'set apart' or 'separated'. Strangely enough it's similar in definition to the word 'sanctified' or even 'holy'. By this time the word had taken on a negative tone and literally meant 'a curse'. In short, it was a bad thing. Now the kicker of this verse is not in these hard words here, but in the word 'love' at the beginning. There are a few Greek words for 'love' in play in the scriptures but the word here is not the common 'agape' that is used to signify divine love. It's the lesser 'phileo' which simply means 'tender affection'. The Bible says that in the last days the 'love' of many would grow cold. We often become so opposed to anything supposidly 'soulish' or 'emotional' that we buy into the error that says if you can turn your feelings off you'll achieve spiritual maturity. NOT SO! There is a holy place for a tender affection for Jesus Christ. God help us if we have allowed our tender affection for Christ to grow cold for in doing so we allow our tender affection for one another to follow. "How can we love God who we have not seen and not love our brother who we have seen?" Perhaps this is why it's so difficult for the world to know that we are Christians for the Bible says that "they'll know we are Christians by our love". There's much more to this study but for now, ask yourself this question. "Has my tender affection for Jesus Christ grown cold?"

Ran into a teenager in WalMart the other day who was wearing an xl black t-shirt sporting the line, "God Hates Me" on the front in large white letters. After an unfruitful chat (he was in the process of getting his ear pierced for the 5th or 6th time and wasn't in the mood to talk) I wandered out of the store sure I'd see him again. He happens to live in my neighborhood. I got to wondering how comfortable we would be (as Christians) wearing a shirt that says, "God Loves Me". We don't have any problem telling people that God/Jesus loves them. I do find, however, that many believers struggle with the concept that God's love is directed at them in particular. I don't think it's a pride issue. I believe it's an issue of personal unworthiness or at lease the perception of it. Others can be worthy and it's a comfort to proclaim that but when it comes to our own it just has a hard time taking hold. Maybe that's why Jesus was so insistent that we stick together in the body of Christ. That we may 'encourage one another' since many people have such difficulty following the mandate to 'build yourself up' in the most holy faith. Do I say that we ought to go around proclaiming God's love for us in a public display of childlike confidence? Yeah. It would probably do the world some good to see a message other than, "I believe this for you but I can't believe it for me so here, you take God's grace because I'm unworthy of it." False humility is an open wound on the church that needs about 3 good stitches. Here's number one. Psalm 57 "I will praise you among the nations" Gal. 2 "For I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me..." Phil 2 "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus..." I don't give the specific verse so you may be enticed to search the chapter for the passage and thereby also learn the value of context. I'm gonna give myself a little test here. God loves you. God loves me. I found the second phrase harder to type than the first. Even paused before the word 'me'. Looks like I need to meditate on this too.

Up to now I've been accustomed to people telling me that I'm waaay too young to be doing whatever it is that I'm doing. I've always been on the younger side of things in a world filled with the 'older and wiser'. Fine by me. The last thing I want to be perceived as is a 30 something know-it-all whippersnapper who has no respect for his elders. So the elders eld and the youth do their thing and then there's my new world. A crack in the chasm of the progression of time from birth to death. The strange period of time when you're still too young to be successful and too old to be cool. I've got a leg over the fence and I must tell you that sitting here is not comfortable. What makes me feel old? Hearing Van Halen on the classic rock station. Having a teenager say "Better put some sunscreen on that thinning spot on the back of your head." I have come to like eating at Luby's. Having someone hand you an xbox controller while saying, "Let the old guy play." The way the skin on my elbows seems to constantly need lotion. (According to my wife) Someone actually had the nerve to suggest that I get my prostate checked. I'm not playing any games of red rover, red rover, nurse says bend over. At least not anytime soon. Every time I buckle a seatbelt I feel old. I used to kick back in the floorboard, sit on the arm rest up front, or sleep in the back window. All while the car was doing the speed limit of 55mph. What makes me feel young? Not much. So this is 31. Hmmmm... Nice view. The sunset behind me is brilliant and the sunrise before me is cresting the horizon. Looks like a nice day coming and going.

As per yesterdays post, I've gotten some email about the video thing. Need a wedding or event videographer in Austin, TX? Hit the following link to get to my 'other' website. WilVan Productions
This site has some samples of videos we've done as well as a link to the best wedding photographer in Austin, Michelle Reed. I know, I know... A commercial is not becoming my weblog, but hey, in a year of posts this is a first so cut me some slack here.

I know, I know. I don't update this nearly enough. I lack a couple of things lately. Time and inspiration. They say the lamp of life burns longer than the lamp of inspiration. I don't know who 'they' are but that's what 'they' say. I guess that means that you'll hit some dry spots in your lifetime. Not that I've been suffering for the inabilty to quench my thirst in the river of creative juices. (disgusting visual there) I've been pouring all the energy I have into three major things. Sunday morning there's this series of messages that involve a twist on the old 'chalk talk' trend of the 50's. This involves paint and a canvas the size of a bedsheet. Actually it is a bedsheet. That's been fun, yet difficult. A stutter or stumble in a speech or sermon you can recover from. But one wrong line in a painting and suddenly John the Baptist looks like he didn't quite finish that last bite of locust. The whole effect is gone. So far I'm battin 1000 but I've got a few of these sermons to go so we'll see what happens. In all honesty, it's really a wonderful thing to be able to mix a unique piece of artwork with a unique piece of Gospel. The second thing I'm doing these days is videography. That's really a blast. I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed that stuff. It's fast turning from a hobby into an outright passion. I may have a go at filming a movie here pretty quick. With some of the drivel I've seen lately, I don't think getting in the door will be that difficult. Take 'lost in translation'. What in the world??? "No, Mr. Murray. You don't have any lines. All you have to do is sit on the edge of this bed and stare blankly into the camera. No really. Critics will eat this up and we'll have a five star masterpiece on our hands." I put more thought into setting the temperature in the shower than they did with that cumbersome bore. The other thing I'm working on this summer is tweaking (my word for the day) the script for the LifeGuard Austin Character and Sexuality Program. This means a couple of months of pouring over statistics about Genital Warts, Herpes, the Clap, etc... Ever wonder why they called Gonorrhea 'the clap'? I guess it's because people are really happy when they get it. Kidding... Actually,(turns on Cliff Claven voice) Pelvic Inflamatory Disease (aka PID) also used to be called Chronic Lower Abdominal Pain, hence the term CLAP. At least that's what 'they' say. And far as I know, 'they' are always right.

Consider trust. It seems to take years to build trust but a day or two can take it down like a house of cards in a hurricane. This is a problem for us humans who are built with a need to trust someone in our world. We pick and choose, often poorly, people in which to place our treasure of trust. Eventually something or someone will invade our fortress of security and it explodes, implodes, or just plain disolves as if it were never there. Why is it so easy to isolate ourselves? Because we have found way to many people who have held too lightly with the trust that you have placed in them. What is it like to be on the other side though? To have many people place a trust in you and to carry that weight with arms too weak to hold it all? I would suggest that man was never meant to carry such a load, neither was he meant to place such a load upon another. What I mean is that there is no way that any man (or woman) will never ever ever ever let you down. So prepare for it without being paranoid by the inevitability of it. God has done this with the most immense treasure of all. The Gospel of the Kingdom. With His divine foreknowledge of the inevitable conclusion, He has still chosen to hand us His trust. With all the force of a hurricane, we tend to blow it apart. We fail family, church, work, ministry, and even God. GRACE! GRACE! GRACE! Grace to you who live in the shadow of the mountain of failure that you have built. Grace to you who have isolated yourselves from those who you once trusted. Grace to you who have destroyed the trust that many once placed in you. Grace to you who search with futility for fruit that has sprouted from seeds you planted in hard soil. Grace to you who have been misunderstood by those who claim to love you most. Grace to you who have forsaken the call for the witness that you lost in a moment of weakness. Grace to you all. God still trusts in you.

I've decided to share with you an online discussion I had recently with a supposed 'atheist'. We'll call him Roger. He came out fighting and threw some pretty stout punches. I'll leave it to you to determine the effectiveness of my replies. Put yourself in this situation. How would you reply? Without further ado...
The following transcript is an unedited, harsh, and illuminating trip into the mind of 'intelligent' atheism.

Roger's first reply to my first reply.
> Wow, you're jumping right into this with more enthusiasm than I am
> accustomed to! That's encouraging. Most theists I have encountered
> give up after just a few replies.
>
> On Apr 13, 2004, at 11:47 PM, Bill Vanderbush wrote:
I bet you've asked this of people before and likely have gotten the standard
cliché answers. I'll attempt to avoid that.

> Thanks, I appreciate your desire to give my questions genuine
> consideration.

bill - I speak for nobody but myself in this. I believe in God for the same reason
I believe in my wife. I have experienced the depth and reality of her
presence and her love. I can say the same for the presence and love
of God (Jesus Christ).

> I should probably let you know that I was raised as a fairly devout
> Christian, and have also experienced "God" through profound emotion.
> However, I no longer trust emotional justifications for belief, for
> reasons that may become clear as we continue.
>
bill - You know, man's chief argument against God is that the universe seems so
cruel and unjust. But how does one come upon the idea of just and unjust?
One can't call a line crooked unless he has some idea of what a straight line is. Where does one derive the idea of justice apart from intelligent universal design?

> I am surprised you decided to bring up the Problem of Evil so soon, as
> it is pretty harsh on theism.
>
> No matter how "evil" is defined, and no matter whether God exists or
> not, we can be certain that no being in existence is consistently
> willing and able to prevent, say, the rape of children -- because it
> happens! If God is not even able to give help to children when they
> need it most, then he is clearly irrelevant with respect to our daily
> lives. If God is able to get involved but choses not to, then he is
> either apathetic or downright malevolent. In no case is any proposed
> God worthy of our trust or respect, let alone our worship. As long as
> bad things continue to happen, it is rational to conclude that no
> loving, powerful God exists. Only irrelevant or untrustworthy deities
> are logically possible.
>
> As for the origins of human morality, I believe it derives from our
> nature as a social species. We are not only self-aware, but aware that
> others are self-aware. When bad things happen to others, we empathize
> with them. When an action is observed to have negative consequences,
> we remember that and avoid taking that action in the future. As "good"
> for one person is frequently "bad" for another, many moral positions
> cannot be absolute. Fortunately, with the advent of generalized
> language, we became capable of combining our collective experiences to
> balance our competing needs and produce complex social contracts with
> each other. So morality, at its core, is the result of subjective
> social consensus. Evidence of this lies in the observation that
> morality differs widely among cultures from different times and places.
> (To emphasize this point, I ask you to show me a verse in the Bible --
> just one will do -- that specifically condemns the sexual molestation
> of children!)
>
> We could also look at this from a purely philosophical perspective.
> Suppose a set of absolute moral positions exists. Each element of such
> a set either has a good reason behind it, or it doesn't. If there is
> no good reason for a moral position, there is no need to follow it,
> independent of who established the set. If there is a good reason for
> a moral position, that reason is sufficient to justify the position,
> independent of who established the set. In all cases, sound reasoning
> is equal or superior to any set of moral absolutes. So again, it is
> better to behave rationally than to believe in a moral God.
>
> I could support this conclusion empirically by going on about religious
> justifications for human atrocities throughout history, prison
> population statistics showing disproportionately few atheists, the
> relative success of secular governments vs. theocracies, and so on, but
> it may be sufficient to simply point out that theism is not necessary
> for good social behavior, and religion may actually cause more harm
> than good. (But... a solid education does improve social behavior!)
>
bill - Another question. If the whole universe has no meaning
then how did we find that out?
>
> But... we don't know whether or not the universe has any "meaning"
> external to itself. In principle, we may never be able to know. By
> definition, we can only observe that which is contained within the
> observable universe.
>
bill - ...You are asking questions. How is it that you
have discovered that there are questions to ask?
>
> Observation.
>
bill - Life is too complicated to be an accident and atheism is too simple to
be a solution.
>
> I am not entirely sure I understand what you are getting at here, but
> I'll take a stab at it anyway. Let me know if I am mistaken.
>
> Complex life is no "accident", but theism provides only a superficial
> illusion of a solution. Before we get sidetracked in a largely
> irrelevant origins debate (what matters is whether or not God is
> relevant here and now), I would like to summarize by saying, impersonal
> evolutionary processes are plenty capable of producing "intelligent
> designs", without need of an Intelligent Designer.
>
> "Atheism", by itself, is nothing more or less than a lack of belief in
> any gods. (Of all the gods proposed throughout human history, I lack
> belief in only one more than you do!) Certainly, we all have to
> develop or adopt some guiding philosophy to live by. You favor faith
> in God (and, presumably, the Bible), while I favor reason and
> observation.
>
bill - In keeping with the Socratic method, why should anyone not believe in
God?
>
> Concisely: truth matters, but theism is inherently irrational.
>
> -Roger
>

MY REPLY TO ROGER'S REPLY - April 14, 2004

Roger says...
"I should probably let you know that I was raised as a fairly devout Christian, and >have also experienced "God" through profound emotion. However, I no longer >trust emotional justifications for belief, for reasons that may become clear as we >continue."

bill says - I agree that emotional justification won't fly. However, I don’t think I mentioned emotion. I believe I used the word 'experience' which is far deeper. Where you experienced God through profound emotion, I have experienced God through profound contact. You'll just have to take my word on that one.

I've got a couple of things going on in my head here. On one hand, I have reason to believe that you're actually a genuine Christian with some time on your hands and a desire to test one (or perhaps many) who are pastoring. Hence your searching out a church website and requesting an audience with the resident 'teacher'. If so, I'm willing to go along with it as an exercise in apologetics. I say this because you're a well thought and intelligent writer. But anyone of reasonable intelligence and some theological savvy knows that atheism isn't for the intelligent. The best you can be is an agnostic. For you to be a true atheist you would have to prove that God does not exist which is impossible. So your belief is based upon something you cannot prove, just like mine. But to have faith enough to proclaim that there is no God is pretty major. In that respect, you have more faith than I do. Immense faith. Since, by your writing, I believe you to be intelligent, I'm not sure that I buy your story of atheistic profession.

On the other hand, assuming you're an actual atheist, you and I passed somewhere on the road to answering the grand question of reality and God. I was an unbeliever who became a believer. You were a believer who became an unbeliever. Correct? Scripture declares that those who believe have "passed from death to life". Could I then deduce that those who reject belief have passed from life to death? What good thing has your current system of belief bestowed upon you? Answers? Or perhaps more questions. The question of whether or not God exists is one that we won't answer in a lifetime of email. Faith in Him is the issue at hand and therein lies the problem. I can't grant you this. Only God can. As I said before, you have immense faith. It's just aimed in the direction of unbelief. If you're right, what have you gained? If I'm wrong, what have I lost?

There was a writer for the New Yorker (I think) awhile back who wrote about the fact that for the past decade, in NYC none of the buttons for the 'walk/don't walk' signs work. Everything is computerized. Yet thousands of people blindly push them daily. He wrote of the sadness that he felt at their blindness. More profound than that though was that he wrote of his envy for their 'blind faith', which he felt he had lost somewhere. The thing about this story that parallels our discussion is that I have staked my life on my foundation of faith. You have staked your life on your foundation of intellect and observation. No offense, but your head (and mine) is a pretty weak pedestal to stand one's life on. But the thing about this story that doesn't fit with our discussion is that, unlike the reporter's insider knowledge, you can't prove to me that God doesn't exist, just as I can't prove to you that He does. So we're at a gridlock of sorts. Which leads me to my next question.

What exactly do you want? A healthy dialog? A magic formula? A miracle?

Moving on to the issues...

Roger - "No matter how "evil" is defined, and no matter whether God exists or
> not, we can be certain that no being in existence is consistently
> willing and able to prevent, say, the rape of children -- because it
> happens! If God is not even able to give help to children when they
> need it most, then he is clearly irrelevant with respect to our daily
> lives. If God is able to get involved but choses not to, then he is
> either apathetic or downright malevolent. In no case is any proposed
> God worthy of our trust or respect, let alone our worship. As long as
> bad things continue to happen, it is rational to conclude that no
> loving, powerful God exists. Only irrelevant or untrustworthy deities
> are logically possible."

bill - Surely you must be joking. Atheists don't believe in evil or good, right and wrong, etc... (further making me wonder if my first assertion is correct)
Just as darkness is the absence of light, evil is the absence of good. Man's rejection of God is the core of evil. God's goodness is evident in His desire for relationship, not control. Hence the creation and purpose of you and I. I live in a world where some accept Him and some reject Him. His involvement in my life yet absence in yours doesn't negate your or my right to choose. Do you want a cosmic police officer who drops the hammer on every person who wrongs another? His trust in us to listen to His voice and respond appropriately is a staggering display of love. It's those who don't or won't listen who give the world such a moral headache. Not His perceived noninvolvement in our lives. Voila! A God that is both relevant and trustworthy.

Roger - "So morality, at its core, is the result of subjective
> social consensus. Evidence of this lies in the observation that
> morality differs widely among cultures from different times and places.
> (To emphasize this point, I ask you to show me a verse in the Bible --
> just one will do -- that specifically condemns the sexual molestation
> of children!)"

bill - There is no verse prohibiting Chinese water torture but most would agree that's wrong. Again, how did you get the idea that wrong even exists apart from God? Furthemore, Scripture is effective in it's outline of principles rather than specifics. I don't expect my son to put his hand in the lawnmower or push his sister down the stairs although I haven't specifically directed him to abstain from either activity. My instruction of the principle of personal stewardship and proper treatment of others suffices.

Roger - If there is
> no good reason for a moral position, there is no need to follow it,
> independent of who established the set. If there is a good reason for
> a moral position, that reason is sufficient to justify the position,
> independent of who established the set. In all cases, sound reasoning
> is equal or superior to any set of moral absolutes. So again, it is
> better to behave rationally than to believe in a moral God.

bill - Why must it be one or the other? How bout both?

Roger > I could support this conclusion empirically by going on about religious
> justifications for human atrocities throughout history, prison
> population statistics showing disproportionately few atheists, the
> relative success of secular governments vs. theocracies, and so on,

bill - Agreed on the first point [see below for further clarification]. Lost on the second. Unsure of your definition of success on the third.

Roger - theism is not necessary
> for good social behavior, and religion may actually cause more harm
> than good. (But... a solid education does improve social behavior!)

bill - Good point and I fully agree. Religion is a cancer and frankly is manmade. God never instituted religion. He has, in fact, initiated relationship. Also you're right in asserting that one does not have to believe in God in order to be nice to others. Scripture says that even satan and demons believe and tremble. Some professed Christians can't even say they do as much. Again, faith is the issue, and faith and belief are not exactly the same thing.
As for the solid education, what information is that based upon? Nazi Germany and the Roman empire were both built on a foundation of solid academic excellence. Great social behavior there. Nothing against education. You must take into account though the topic of the education, the bent of the educator, and the subject being educated.

Roger - Certainly, we all have to
> develop or adopt some guiding philosophy to live by. You favor faith
> in God (and, presumably, the Bible), while I favor reason and
> observation.

bill - I too favor reason and observation. Both of which have led me to where I am now. The difference, (and this is key) is that what I believe makes me what I am. You make what you believe.

Roger > Concisely: truth matters, but theism is inherently irrational.

bill - God never claims to be rational. In fact throughout the majority of Scripture He is quite the opposite. "His ways are past finding out"

I want to address each of your points and will, as time allows.

Unfortunately, I've just run out for the moment.

bill

"If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small." Scripture is so encouraging that way. My translation? "Hey there loser. When the going gets tough, the tough get tougher!" Or going, or whatever. If Scripture does anything it exposes how very weak we are and how strong Christ is. I'll be the first to say, "Small strength folks will gather over here and bring your prozac to share." The funny thing about the Word of God (in the division of soul and spirit) is it starves your soul to the point of death and when it does decide to get the paddles out and shock you to life it does so in your spirit. This is why you can read the word and be starving in soul but spiritually energized. The strange thing about the nature of man is that God can pour his strength into our weakness and use us without our conscious involvement. It's a beautiful thing. The active part is the flesh, which is not often willing to submit to the spirit but would much rather pander to the soulish. So herein lies the discipline of our rotten stinking bodies. I believe that this would be a far better world if one would simply spend their life in the confines of a five foot box and keep your eyes, ears, and hands to yourself. Sounds like prison though. And truly it is. Grant prisoners freedom and first thing many would do is abuse it for personal gain, revenge, control, pleasure, or whatever carnal evil is ruling them. Yet this is what God does to us and for us and challenges us to live in freedom. The submission is in the realization that without the fullness of His spirit invading our soulishness, we are as out of control as those prisoners. Legalism would slam the cell door shut once and for all. God desires neither. He surely gives us freedom as a gift and not as a snare. If then we are free then the challenge is to learn how to be free in a manner that brings glory to Jesus. I wonder if eternity is long enough to get that done?

I am nearly fed to the gills with the anti-semitism charges I'm hearing from the liberal media about this movie. As if this notion of anti-semitism is the worst thing since anal warts, the liberal media has taken up the task of finding a mere shred of it in this film about Jesus. I saw more anti-semitism from the Costanza's on Seinfeld than in this film.
Ya wanna find some anti-semitics to beat up on? There's a few million to the north, south, and east of Israel!!! Every Allah following son of Ishmael is anti-semitic. Apparently the media can't get this clue cause every time a suicide bomber assassin detonates on a bus in Jerusalem it makes the news right behind Jlo. (No pun intended)
The papers are worried that somebody's going to start hurting Jews because of this movie. HEY! Jews are dying every week in Jerusalem and the papers say NOTHING to condemn it. To quote the Messiah, "You hypocrites!!!"
Not hypocritical enough for ya? They say we need to leave poor Saddam alone now because they didn't have WMD's. Hey! This guy and his whole mindset thinks we all need to die. 19 anti-semitics killed 3000 Americans in under 20 minutes. I don't care if they only find buckets of snakes and flutes over there. It's time to clean house. Perhaps we ought to start with our own.
The New York Times and Austin American Statesman was good for only one thing in my house, and once the dog was housetrained and my Cockatiel died we have no use for them anymore. Don't get me wrong. I love free speech! But the media is determined to crucify Mel and pardon the sons of Arafat. If Peter Jennings wants to find some anti-semitism, I dare him to go ride the bus in Jerusalem.

The Passion [suffering] of the Christ. Cinematic history is made before my red puffy eyes. The question everyone seems to be asking is who killed Jesus. Mel's answer, "We all did." pretty much did the job for me. Beyond that, it wasn't the Romans, and it wasn't the Jews either. If any earthly system had any hand in this it was the system of religion. Those who fear anti-semitism are missing the wonderful scenes such as the conflict of the Pharisitical council itself in its pronouncement of judgement. Simon, who is forced to carry the cross when Jesus can't take another step, is called 'Jew' with all of the hatred of a curse word by a Roman guard. When Simon and Jesus, in struggling with the cross, lock arms and carry it together I dare your tear ducts to be dry. When their eyes lock in a bond of brotherhood that would leave Simon changed forever, you can't help but see the depth of God's love for the Jewish people, His people. The New York Times called the film 'artistically flawed' due to it's inability to see the point of why Jesus was suffering such torture in the first place. They chided Gibson for failing to give the backstory. Did they not see the scene in the Garden? Literally the first scene of the film, when Jesus is subjected to satan's mockery in saying, "Can one man bear the sin of the whole world?" That's the point! Oh my Lord. I was stunned to read review after review of this film written in blindness. That there are actually people in this world who can't see this after watching this film is dumbfounding. What do they use their eyes for? What good are their ears? This film offers no excuse and I would gather that more people will see this in the coming weeks than Billy Graham has seen in a lifetime. Beware, watcher, of the responsibility of what you consume here for you are without excuse. The opening scene sets up the task, to bear the sin of all mankind. The final line reveals whether or not the task was done. "It is accomplished." If your eyes see and ears hear these two lines you are without excuse. You have come to a crossroad of which there are only two choices. Acceptance or rejection. Forget the coming presidential campaign. God help our nation if we fail this election of eternal importance. God help us.
People have asked me what I, as a believer, came away with. Simply this. I was glad to see that I hadn't really become as cold as I thought I had. I pray differently today. I hope you find this to be true as well.

No, I haven't given up on writing. Actually I was getting some wonderful feedback and spent a good amount of time answering the various email I was getting from readers who dared to peer inside my mind. 2004 has just plain blown me three sheets to the wind. I have no idea what that means. I went to teach for a week at a private school south of Austin, which is heavy on my heart.
See, these kids at this high end boarding school come from successful parents, most dripping with an obscene amount of wealth. Their parents live in other countries or, in some cases, just up the highway. Do they come to visit? Sure, on the weekends or when they can. And lest the idea enter your mind that these 'kids' are mature and independant high schoolers, this is not so! The juvenilles in question are 6th grade and up. BOARDING OUT A MIDDLE SCHOOLER!!! For the love of George Herbert Walker. What in the %$&# gives these parents the right to consider themselves successful? The tuition at these places costs more than my annual salary so you're not exactly spending time in the express lane of Albertsons with a cart load of peanut butter and government cheese and swiping your WIC card here.
Now look. I know the story of Samuel and how he was devoted to God by his mother at a tender age but this is a far cry from that remarkable set of circumstances. Consider the term 'spoiled'. I had some cheese that spoiled. The residual effect of the mold was the antithesis of aromatherapy. I left a pan of chicken out by the grill once. (Ate the moist beef, left the dry chicken) In no time it turned into a science experement. I don't see how spoiling a child could smell any better. Mix that with a healthy sense of abandonment and you have the inevitable sequel to the Clinton whitehouse. So here's the deal. If you're rich, great. But what profit do you have if you gain the whole world and lose your own soul? I suggest that a man's son or daughter is as dear to him as his own soul. As he neglects one, so he neglects the other. Think your future CEO uniformed boarder is well off right where he is? I spent a week with them, and somethings rotten in Denmark. I have no idea what that means either.

First Sunday in the new building. I wasn't wildly excited. I wasn't giddy. I wasn't freaked out. If anything I was tired. Like William Wallace standing on a victorious battlefield surrounded by fellow combatants waving and shouting only to calm down, look around, and assess their injuries, the dust has settled, and here we are. Not that I have any injuries, mind you. With the exception of some new calluses (which will come in handy for guitar playing) and a nagging ache in the back, I'm pretty well off. As for the rest of the crew? I feel honored to have worked along side of (and at the mercy of) some mighty fine people. I think there's a whole barrel of spiritual gifts that we have overlooked here. In Exodus, God identifies a guy by the name of Bezaleel who, He says, is filled with His Spirit and the evidence of it is that Bez is gifted in all manner of workmanship and understanding. God delegates to him, the task of building the temple. As if by some logical wisdom, God doesn't tell the prophets, priests, or tribal leaders to do the job. He sovereignly gives a strange guy on the fringe the gift and call to build His house.
I wonder if in this day, in which God dwells in houses made of flesh, that He is once again calling those sovereignly chosen, regular folks, to bring the Gospel of the Kingdom to mankind in a real, relevant way. Strange people on the fringe, just like us.

Turkey day approaches. What's that drug in the turkey again? Trip-to-something... Supposed to put you to sleep for an hour or so. I plan on an overdose. I'm going to head to the lake, savor the bird and the pie, and recline on the dock with a hot cocoa in one hand and a fishin pole in the other. No bait on the line of course. I don't actually want to catch anything. That would take effort and I've got about 359 sabbaths that I'm squeezing into this day. Now this brings up an interesting thought. Some people go fishing to fish. Some go fishing to catch. I mostly prefer the latter, however this week I don't have a desire to catch anything but a nap. To all my friends and enemies (some of which are actually the same people), have a happy Thanksgiving.

How is it that I arrived here? Have you ever driven somewhere only to think back on the journey and realize, in a Clinton moment, that you can’t quite recall how you got there? I think this is why grace is so important. When we arrive at a masterful accomplishment we often outwardly take credit but inwardly we wonder how in the world we got there. On the converse side of things, I believe there are those unfortunate among us who tonight sit on a cot in a cell bunking down with a large reprobate whose name happens to be the same as a popular brand of power tool, who are also wondering the same thing. How in the world did I arrive here? In both cases grace is glaring in it’s intensity to both pardon the criminal and purify the proud. Truth is we arrive at those locations one small step at a time and your guide determines the destination. From familiar accounts of the saints of old, we find that often those on the wrong side of the law, along with ‘Mr. Blackndecker’, were many times in the midst of the wild will of God. Paul and Silas, for example. At the same time those who were often getting a lap dance from luxury were a blasphemous breath away from a divine spanking. Herod the Great, for example. In either case, the party whose guide was grace found favor with God. I believe that when we reach heaven’s throne room and stand before God we’ll all gaze upward in bewilderment wondering, “How is it that I arrived here?” I think of the words of an old hymn. “There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emanuel’s veins. And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains. The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day. And there may I, though vile as he, wash all my sins away.” Amen and amen.

I've met some fascinating people in my short life. I recall the brief stint as Sandra Bullock's house cleaner. Our first conversation... (Me cleaning an antique coffee table) "I'm sorry but I don't think I can ever get this thing to look new again." (Her reaction) "Heheheheh, that's funny." Far more intriguing was the unique cast of characters I spent the summer with in London, England in 1988. This was an evangelistic trip with Teen Missions and those 35 people were some of the most colorful personalities that God ever crafted. There was Joel Lawler, who was sure Sid Vicious was still alive. Steve Bakos who did a three month long impression of the church lady. Tammy Prochnov, who new way too much about my character, or lack thereof, from the bus ride from Des Moines to Daytona. Michelle from Georgia, who could make you laugh just by saying the word "head", which in Georgia, has three syllables. Cameron Friesen, a Canadian fireball who got fed up about mid July and headed home. He was my friend and I was sad to see him go. Tami See, who was a rock of common sense in our hurricane of hormonal hedonism. Kim Feenstra, a beautiful girl whose blond hair competed with her smile for 'brightest feature'. Her spirit outshined them both. I broke her heart and mine as well. Then there was Bonnie Penner. A lone soul who, among us all, seemed to know the reason we were on this evangelistic adventure. I was aware that Bonnie both knew God and she loved Him. It's far more rare than you think. We say we love but we can't even love each other and we say we know but most of us haven't even figured out who we are. I respected Bonnie with an angry, seething, brutal respect. I wasn't interested in truth and she seemed intent on making me stare at it every now and then. The painful reflection of loving chastening from a peer with the Spirit's power behind it provoked conversations I'll never forget. At the time I dismissed her by pondering the vast number of people with good hearted zeal I had encountered who, over time, allowed the fire to subside and called it maturity. Imagine my surprise when I decided to take a look online and see where Bonnie had settled down. Surely her youthful passion for the lost had, by now, become a mere memory.
In November of 2002 in the Lebanese city of Sidon, Bonnie was killed by a Muslim gunman. The morning light greeted her opening the orphanage that she worked in and on those steps her life ended for sharing the Gospel of peace with Muslim children. God has chosen mankind to be the lamp by which His light shines in the darkness. With Bonnie's martyrdom, the world lost a lamp that never lacked oil but only shined brighter with each moment. I had begun to fear that my zeal for God, His Word, and His House, would naturally subside over time and that there was little that could be done about it. Bonnie has proved me wrong.

The book of Jeremiah opens with a recollection of the moment of his call. He has a reluctant conversation with God much like a teenager with a parent. God says to him, “Do not say, “”I am a youth””. In effect, God tells him that what appears to be a fact is, in fact, not a fact. Ultimately God’s eyes see differently and, safe to say, with far more accuracy. God’s view and vision is about as foreign to us as a bikini in Baghdad and often far more shocking. Psalm 32 features a verse in which God declares, “I will guide you with my eye.” No wonder so much of His leading makes so little sense. As believers, we humbly succumb to be led by his sight and thus begin a journey that boldly goes beyond the boundaries of normative thought, ideas, and action. Jeremiah, though told in chapter 1 that he has power to overthrow kings and kingdoms, never gets the chance. The power that God places in him never seems to get fully unleashed on the world. But it’s unleashed in Jeremiah for his heart turns out to be the very kingdom that God wants to conquer the most. So this man of power, pride, and priestly position turns into the “weeping prophet”. I often think of the self esteem style teaching regarding the spiritual authority that has been placed in our lives to subdue and conquer kingdoms and yet we ourselves remain lawless and without restraint. After reading Jeremiah I’ve come to the conclusion that God is far more interested in taking the time to subdue the kingdom of a single man’s heart than to merely use him to subdue what our eyes see as kingdoms. In fact those are kingdoms made by men and, as the Scriptures say, are as dust before Him. It makes sense that the Creator is far more concerned with His creation itself than what His creation has created. Like a child who comes home from school with a crudely beautiful sculpture of popsicle sticks and macaroni and the parent admires it but only because his child has created it. The artwork is destined for the trash can but for now it hangs in a place of prominence. The kingdoms of this world seem so prominent, but in God’s eyes they are as solid as popsicle sticks and macaroni. Our destiny, however, is that the power of the Spirit within us will eventually bring us to a place of obedient submission to His perfect will and we will be conformed into the image of Christ. That’s a fact.

As an evangelists kid, I wasn’t burdened by material wealth nor the want of it. But the few things that I did have were treasures. One of the treasures I had was a travel brochure about Disney World and I loved it because inside it had a map of the park and I meticulously studied the layout. The combination of their facts and my vivid imagination made this simple brochure worth more than gold to me. It’s amazing what we attach value to. Sitting in Grandma Bert’s house one evening, a terrific thunderstorm rolled in with all of the subtlety of a sledge hammer. The wind tore at the house and all two stories creaked and croaked under the strain. My Dad loved storms, at least I thought so, because when there was a storm dad would stand out on the porch with his coffee and take it all in, lightning, thunder, hail, and a chorus of wild wind. I guess it was better than tv because it was interactive entertainment at it’s best. Much to the chagrin of mom I would join him and this night I had in hand my brochure. I stepped onto the porch and saddled up next to Dad and just as I did, a gust of wind sucked the magazine out of my hand and into the black air. Before I knew it, my dad did something totally unexpected. He ran out into the yard and disappeared within the sheets of rain. Mom yelled at me to get in and in terror I curled up on the antique claw-foot couch next to her. I thought he’d be right back but he didn’t come and I shivered with each strike of lightning. My uncle Joe got worried and putting on his coat announced his intention to head out and find dad. More time passed and the wind grew louder. Finally, the door broke open and dad and uncle Joe stumbled in, tired, cold, and soaked to the skin. Dad leaned against mom who had stood up to hug him for being so wonderful and scold him for being so crazy. When he wrapped his arm around her I couldn’t believe my eyes for clutched in his fist was my brochure. It was soaked and ruined but I didn’t care. I don’t remember what happened to it. For all I know, we simply threw it in the garbage that night at Grandma’s house. But I cried hard and held tightly to Dad. Not over the magazine, but over the sacrifice that he made. There’s a huge difference between cost and value. Never cry over anything that can’t cry over you.

My pipes are groaning. Whenever you turn off the shower this groan aches loudly in the walls of the house for a minute or so. Still, indoor plumbing beats an outhouse. If you’ve never used an outhouse you simply haven’t lived. Grandma Alberta lived in Bushnell, SD (population 75 give or take) for most of her 98 years and resided in a house that looked pretty much like the barn across the yard. Unlike the barn though, the house had a paint job and that was in sorry shape so Dad and I set out to give it a fresh coat of whitewash with lime green for the trim. The house didn’t have indoor plumbing so dad hooked a motor up to the old long handle pump in the front yard. When Grandma needed water just plug in the motor and you’re ready to go. The glass in the windows was so old that it wasn’t remotely flat and clear. It warped the view outside because it was wavy. Grandma had this odor about her that was an unmistakable cross between Ben Gay and liniment with a splash of prairie air. Dad said it came from the time she fell in the outhouse. The outhouse was a classic two holer. The narrow door hung crooked and, unlike the cartoons, had no clever carving in it like a crescent moon or whatever. It did, however, have a doorknob made out of an empty wooden spool for thread. In the outhouse hung a sears catalog. The shiny pages were always saved for last for obvious reasons. If that didn’t suit you, a bucket of corncobs set in the corner. Those you could recycle. One summer afternoon a prairie tornado came through as they often did. Everyone had a storm cellar. We called them basements and they are a Yankee’s best kept secret. I say this because somewhere between Oklahoma City and Dallas people just stopped digging them. For some reason these Texans educate their children to protect themselves from an F5 twister by getting in the bathtub. People don’t die too often from twisters in the Dakotas. Know why? Cause they’re in the basement, not in the bathtub! Anyhow the twister came through and grandma headed to the basement till it blew over. Except for a few dozen trees (that were piled up into the best fort a kid ever had) the only thing that was affected was the outhouse, which was upside down in the field. Grandma came up from the basement but didn’t bother to go out to inspect the damage. After all, there was chicken frying on the stove. Evening came and, as per the routine, she took a stroll to the outhouse before turning in for the night. The combination of her poor eyesight and brisk walking proved tragic this night as the classic two holer had now been transformed into a one holer. One big hole. I’m not sure how she managed to get out. That’s always been part of the mystery. All I know is that every time my pipes groan, I think of the outhouse, corn cobs, Grandma Bert, and the farm, and I’m thankful.

It's hard to get to the computer these days. I've been spending most of my minutes learning a trade. The fine art of framing. I've never framed anything but a picture (and a cousin, but that was a long time ago). Just kidding there. It's amazing how everything is tied into everything else and a single mistake or weakness can have a dramatic negative effect on the whole structure. At the same time the structure holds itself up by load transference. When there is a weakness (such as when we ran into a supporting wall with a scissor lift) the entire frame creaks and groans but didn't buckle because the load was evenly supported in many areas. Life is like that. There will always be areas of weakness to fix or correct and though the entire structure may creak and groan the load transfers onto the points of strength. How many points of strength do you have? Mine have names. Traci, Shannon, Randy, Chris, Mark... the list goes on and on. Bear one another’s burdens. Seems I read that somewhere. In this way we maintain a health in the 'body' and not just maintain, but build, construct, reconstruct, and finally we are made complete. Amen.

Think about two words here. 'Job' and 'Purpose. If I were to ask you why you have a job you would likely answer, "For a paycheck, sir, and aren't you depriving a village somewhere of an idiot?". Most people work two jobs just so they can have enough money to be broke but ultimately the purpose of the work is to live. Now jump to the kingdom of God. If there's one question I get asked often these days it's, "What does God want me to do?" As Christians we've got things turned around for us because grace is freely given and now our lives are lived in a response of gratitude for the gift. The paycheck's already in the bank so now I just have to live worthy of it, right? So we often focus on the job since we figure the purpose is fulfilled. But it's not. Oh yeah, your salvation is sealed, but that's not what we're talking about. So what's your purpose? The Scripture says that we are "...predestined to be conformed into the image of His Son." That's the purpose. For "when we see Him, then we shall be like Him for we shall see Him as He is." Beyond salvation you embark on a quest that will likely entail a multiple of 'jobs'. Each one with a different description but a single purpose. That you be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. Don't get hung up on the job. "Walk in the Spirit" today and "whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all of your might." Hey, knowing that in everything God is shaping you, even the job of village idiot is ok.